When Fat Frank Lampard pisses, it takes a deflection and goes in

Henry tries to get Pires to do it for him, they both f*ck it up and end up pissing on eachother's shoes. But Henry doesn't just get his own piss in more than anyone else, he also helps others with theirs a lot for a striker

Ruud actually lowers his c*ck inside the bowl first - no chance of missing then

Christiano Ronaldo spins his c*ck around in a windmill motion before spraying his urine all over the bathroom scales

Scholes' is a curious shade of orange.

Ronaldinho has got zig-zag piss

And maradona has his go up on his knee, his left shoulder, head, right shoulder, right knee and dinks it in the bowl

Thomas Hitzlsperger stands in his front garden whilst he has a piss, in the toilet upstairs

Casillas just loves golden showers!

David Beckham does a cool curly one, but it's the only type he can do.

Essien breaks his toilet everytime he goes.

Shevchenko goes for pisses so frequently, especially in Europe.

Mido's piss is explosive when it hits the water.

Diego Forlan can only have a piss when he's in warmer weather.

Shearer gets a bit of pee on his hand then after he's finished runs over to the sink with his hand in the air to wash it.

Wenger misses every time 'cos he claims he didn't see the toilet.

Rooney only likes pissing in English toilets.

N'gotty goes in the ladies toilets.

Peter Crouch can hold it in for weeks and then pisses 10 pints in one visit to the loo.

Frank Sinclair always pisses in the wrong toilet

Diouf pisses out of his mouth

Matt le tissier only used to go for a piss when he felt like it...

Keano screams at his penis to get it's act together.

Joe Cole can't do it without sweatbands on. Then, when he's done, he falls over

John O Shea pisses bent over.

Kanu sometimes takes a piss with his c*ck wrapped around the back of his leg

Woodgate pisses into his own face

Dietmar Hamann takes an acoustic piss. Patrick Vieira is standing at the next urinal and falls over.

Alex ferguson pissed right in Beckham's face.

Henry keeps pissing on the seat of late.

Darren Fletcher pisses over his own feet, up the wall, all down his legs and on anybody nearby. Sometimes he wishes Fergie would stop making him go and piss.

Zidane does a 360 degree piss around the toilet before cooly slotting it home.

Ronaldo steps over his piss, then over it again and again and again...

Eric Cantona does a sublime piss and then pirouttes around to face everyone as if to say "Did you see that? I did that. That was a God like piss."

Bramble And Boumsong piss together on the seat and Shay Given deflects it into the bowl with his mouth

Does Gerrard tell his toilet he's leaving before he's finished his piss and then change his mind at the last second before the resulting accident involving trousers, shoes, piss and swear-words?

Emile Heskey falls over before even reaching the urinal.

Darren Huckerby charges blindly towards the toilet door with his head down not noticing that it's closed.

Lua Lua likes to celebrate in his usual way after finishing his piss but tries to forget the day when he celebrated prematurely...

Andy Johnson stands 12-yards away on a spot on the floor and only pisses from there.

Michael Owen has to piss upwards in order to hit the bowl.

Cygan gifts lots of piss to anyone who comes asking

Milan Baros sprints out the living room shimmys past the study bolts up the stairs pirouettes round the dog hops over a chair rolls into the bathroom then after all that hardwork misses the toilet and pisses out the window.

Cisse just races off towards the urinal, and when he's in range, he shoots. Occasionally it goes it, but more often then not it hits everything else and misses.

When Carragher takes a piss no-one can understand the sound

Peter Crouch has good piss for a big man.

Drogba is piss

Sol Campbell only does half a piss then goes home