There was once an old Cuban fisherman called Santiago. He hadn't caught any fish for a very long time, but he was convinced that his luck would hold and he went out to try and catch something. He took his boat far out into the sea, and an enormous fish struck. The fish dragged the old man and his boat for three days, the old fisherman taking the strain of the line. Finally, with both of them battered and wounded, the man managed to stab and kill the fish with a harpoon. So, he tied the fish - a marlin - to his boat and headed back for sure. But sharks picked up the trail of fish blood and attacked the marlin. The old man tried to ward off the sharks, killing many of them, but eventually the fish was reduced to a skeleton. Despite the enormous mental and physical effort, the pure application of will, the old man got home with nothing.

Hemingway may well have been a West Ham fan but it's doubtful that he got up at a quarter to four in the morning to watch them. Those bubbles nearly reach the sky... but they fade and die.

Ah, what the hell. We'll be Hammers till we die. It's just frustrating as hell to get so tantalisingly close and then fail. Again.

Player ratings

Carroll - OK, did a good save, but possibly could have got to their opener and definitely should have come out for their second. Poor.
Konchesky - For fucks sake. Started well, defensively at least, but just seemed to lose it.
Gabbidon - The less said the better.
Collins - Quite good actually.
Spector - Did pretty well, although got skinned a couple of times. Better than I would have expected, and well involved.
Mascherano - Umm. The contentious issue. Many will disagree but again I thought he played poorly. It's his job to clean up in front of defence and he did not do that IMO.
Bowyer - Not bad. Like most others had a bad day but he looked like it was just an "off" day instead of being just a shit player.
Reo-Coker - GET HIM OUT OF MY FUCKING TEAM.
Harewood - Tried pretty hard I guess, and should have scored.
Cole - Did well at first but got tired - stayed on much longer than he should have.
Tevez - Ineffective.

Subs - don't care.